Sloppy Seconds Bonus Chapter 1

“What is this illusion called, the innocence of youth? Maybe only in our blind belief can we ever find the truth.“🎄🎄🎄

I sat beside Matt on the bottom step of the carpeted staircase, listening to Mom lecture Kyle about taking her daughter to a high school party, the sound of Christmas music filling the room.

Dad winked at us as he plugged in the Christmas tree lights and a soft yellow glow emanated from the fir sitting beside the front window. Red ornaments and gold tinsel and homemade pinecone reindeer and lime green-painted popsicle stick Christmas trees made by Ollie and Phineas a few years earlier sat on the tree. And a snowman on top. Not the typical star or angel, but Mom’s favorite holiday character. Snowmen. Everywhere. They were on every surface and in every room. The dishes were swapped out with snowman-painted ones. Even the coffee mugs were in the shape of them.

We all looked in Mom and Kyle’s direction when Mom started listing off a laundry list of don’ts while we were in his care for the evening.

No drinking.

No drugs.

No dirty dancing.

Dad and I groaned in unison.

“That’s enough, Lainey,” Dad butted into the conversation. “It’s just a party at the Noyes’. It’s a few streets up and I’m sure if Kyle decides to get uncharacteristically drunk or decides to experiment with–” he turned to look at Matt and I, gave us a small wink, “–gateway drugs, the kids can walk home or give us a call to come get them. As for the dirty dancing, I believe it’s called twerking these days. Can’t say it’s much different from whatever we did back in the day.”

Matt and I laughed while Kyle scratched the back of his neck self-consciously, the whole exchange clearly uncomfortable for him.

Mom rolled her eyes at Dad.

“Fine, what I was doing back in the day,” Dad clarified. “Come on, Lainey, these are smart kids. They’re not going to do something stupid at their very first party.”

“Of course we won’t,” I stood up, straightened my long-sleeved juniper-colored dress.

“We’ll be on our best behavior, Mrs. Kearns,” Matt leapt up from the stairs. Dad cleared his throat. “And we will call you if we need anything.”

Mom walked over to me, her navy blue blouse ruffled at her neck, her black dress pants ironed perfectly straight, not a single wrinkle in them. “I love you. Have fun.”

“But not too much fun,” Dad interjected, probably to give off the illusion that he was worried even though I knew he wasn’t.

I hugged Mom’s shoulders before giving Dad a kiss on the cheek and grabbing my coat by the front door.

I was shocked when I asked to go to Fred Noyes’ party and Mom said yes. The Noyes’ were known for having some pretty intense high school parties. I think Tommy told me they were called ragers, but I didn’t know what that meant. I was just excited that Matt and I were invited. We were the only Freshman to score an exclusive invite to Winwood High’s most popular party of the year. Drake, Fred’s younger brother, was on the basketball team with Matt and Fred had been friends with Kyle since the Thompsons had moved here.

Matt opened the front door while I turned back around and gave Mom and Dad a small wave. Kyle was standing beside them, his poker face giving nothing away.

“Please,” I heard Mom say quietly to him, “keep an eye on them.”

He nodded, but I doubted Kyle would waste his time watching Matt and I at the party. We had to pick up Hannah, Kyle’s girlfriend, and they’d probably find a quiet place to make-out. And grope each other.

Ugh.

Gross.

Gag me.

Matt grabbed my hand as we skipped across the worn, beaten down path to the Thompsons’ house. His fingers laced with mine and I felt my heartbeat accelerate. We had held hands plenty of times before but, this time, I kept hoping it might mean something more. That he liked me. That we could be together. Maybe not right away, but sometime in the future.

When we reached Kyle’s black car, he hollered at us to get in while he ran inside.

Matt opened the car door for me and bowed dramatically, “Ladies first.”

“How thoughtful,” I quipped before sliding in and sitting in the middle seat, buckling the seatbelt in with a click.

Matt’s body was warm as he climbed in beside me and wrapped an arm loosely over my shoulders. “Jen, this is our first high school party. We’ve been dreaming about this moment for…forever.”

It hadn’t really been that long. We had been thinking about it since Homecoming when Audra Jenkins, the dance team’s Freshman star, told us it was the party of the year.

“What do you think goes on at these parties?” I asked Matt, suddenly feeling nervous. Other than birthday parties at the rec center and a few family reunions, my party experience was limited.

“I hope they don’t play stupid games like they do in those teen movies you always make us watch,” he shook his head.

“You think they play beer pong?”

Matt scratched the side of his face, the dim light from the Thompsons’ front porch danced across his face as I peered up at him. His eyes were more coppery that night and his hair glinted gold in the yellow glow. He was so handsome. Then again, I had always thought he was.

Kyle opened the door and got in a few minutes later, after we had exhausted every possible party game idea we could think of.

Kyle didn’t say anything as he started the car and backed out of the driveway. I think I expected him to turn around before we left and lecture us about not embarrassing him. It was almost a miracle that he agreed to drive Matt and I. Especially considering Hannah and him were all hot and heavy since they had become exclusive over Thanksgiving break. They were making out all over the mountain. The grocery store parking lot, the rec center parking lot, I even heard someone say they saw them having sex in one of the bathrooms at school. I wasn’t sure I believed that rumor. Kyle didn’t seem like the type of guy to do…um…that in a bathroom stall where anyone might walk in and find them.

I played with the hem of my dress as Matt pulled his arm off of me and rested his hand on top of my fidgety ones. “Don’t be nervous, Jen, it’s going to be fun.”

When I looked up, I noticed Kyle’s dark eyes were on me in the rearview mirror.

After we picked up Hannah, she spent an ungodly amount of time informing Kyle about her super fun afternoon. Manicure. Pedicure. Hair cut, then blow-out. Her mom hired someone to do her make-up for the night. The outfit was…I can’t even remember now. Supposedly some designer, but it looked like a generic black leather skirt and a red top from the backseat to me. But what did I know?

Hannah eventually turned in her seat to give me an overly-friendly hello. I’ve always been suspicious of overly-friendly people. No one is that friendly. Not even Nora, and she’s one of the the friendliest people I know.

“Jenny, you look fabs!”

Matt whispered, “What does fabs mean?” in my ear and I had to stifle a laugh.

“Let me guess,” she tapped her glittery finger nail on her chin, “Nordstroms?”

“My dress?” I asked as I lifted the hem a little, trying to figure out if she was asking where I got it.

“Yes. Where did you get it? It’s so…cute.”

“Target,” I replied as Matt’s fingers laced with mine again.

Hannah flew off on some tangent about how she no longer shops at Target (she pronounced it tar-jay) because their clothes were too cheap for her taste. But I ignored her and focused in on Matt’s warm hand on mine. The way our fingers seemed to fit perfectly together. How his hand wasn’t clammy or sweaty, but the perfect temperature in mine. Our hands were obviously compatible. Just like I knew we were.

I kept my eyes focused on the road straight ahead, but I kept wondering if tonight was the night. Would it change everything? Should I tell him how I feel? That I’ve been in love with him for the last four years. That I want to be more than friends. That I want to get married and live on the second story of one of those old buildings in town with him. Have his children. Play basketball with them every Saturday.

My thoughts drifted. Do high school parties have the magical touch like they do in movies? Where eyes connect and feelings explode and the truth comes out and we decide we’re meant for each other? That there will never be anyone else?

“We’re here,” Kyle’s voice cut through the endless questions that had been running rampant in my head.

Matt let go of my hand to get out just as Hannah threw open her door and slid out in her designer leather skirt. As I started to follow Matt, I heard Kyle’s voice again.

“Jenny?”

One hand rested on the headrest of Hannah’s seat, the other fumbled with my phone. “Yeah?”

“Try to have some fun,” he said as he strummed his fingers on the steering wheel column. “And don’t drink anything.”

I gave him a small smile. “Thanks.”

The party was smaller than I anticipated when we walked in behind Kyle and Hannah, whose hands were all over each other. I even think I saw her stick her hand in his back pocket to touch his butt.

Excuse me while I vomit.

A few underclassmen, like Matt and I, had been invited. I was thankful Audra Jenkins wasn’t here. Watching her drool over Matt and flirt with him was worse than watching Kyle and Hannah eat each other’s faces all over town.

“Come on,” Matt motioned towards the kitchen as he grabbed my hand and pulled me alongside him. “Let’s get something to drink, Jen.”

“Kyle said we shouldn’t drink anything,” I replied quietly. If Matt heard, he ignored me.

The Noyes’ kitchen was stocked full of soda, bottled water, red Solo cups, straws, bags of ice and a huge keg. There was also a stack of pizza boxes left untouched as everyone gathered around the alcohol, waiting while Fred poured them a drink.

Matt seemed hesitant until Fred motioned to him. “Get over here, Matty boy! Let’s get you a drink.”

Matt released my hand to walk over and take the red cup offered to him. He brought it to his lips and took a sip. I watched as he swallowed it, his Adam’s apple bobbing roughly as he tried to hide the cough threatening to escape.

“What about you, Kearns?” Fred looked at me. “Wanna drink?”

I shook my head. “I’m good.”

I don’t know what I expected, but Fred motioned toward the counter without judgment. “If you get thirsty later, there’s plenty of drinks here.”

Matt and I made our rounds as he nursed the beer in his cup. There weren’t a ton of teenagers on the mountain, but there were enough to be picky about who was allowed at parties and who wasn’t.

Colleen, Mrs. Henderson’s granddaughter, waved to us as she cackled beside some Senior girls, all with a cup in their hands. There were a few people from our neighborhood, too. Most were older than us, closer to Kyle’s age. They patted Matt on the back and clinked their cups against his until we found an open door and strolled out onto the back porch.

The fresh air was a welcomed relief from the party anxiety building in my chest. I wasn’t sure I really even wanted to be here.

Until I looked over at Matt.

The sky that night was more beautiful than it had ever been before. The inky black canvas was devoid of stars, but the moon shone bright and huge as it hung, transfixed, above us. Matt was like the moon in my sky. Ethereal, glowing, shining. I loved being with him. Loved knowing him. Loved being called his best friend.

But I wanted more.

It was on the tip of my tongue. The moment I had been waiting for as he stood beside me, staring up at the same moon I was.

I like you, Matt. I want to be your girlfriend. And if you think we should wait til we’re a little older, I don’t mind waiting.

The second I opened my mouth, someone shouted behind us.

“Game time!”

I almost jumped out of my skin as Matt turned to look at whoever had interrupted us. “What game?”

“Truth or dare.”

I groaned internally as Matt nodded his head. “Sounds fun.”

Everyone was seated as we made our way back inside. Matt swallowed the last of his beer before taking another one offered to him by Fred. Matt seemed to forget I was with him and plopped down on the couch between two guys from school. I stood in the shadows, not entirely sure the high school party scene was one I really wanted to be at.

Truth or dare. Every teen movie and book–every story–originated around a stupid game, didn’t it? And me? I didn’t want to take part in it anymore. There was a pit in the bottom of my stomach and the longer I stood there, the more it twisted and turned.

Matt was drinking beer and I doubted he would even remember most of the night by the time tomorrow morning rolled around.

Fred stood in the middle of the living room and took a sip of his drink. “Alright, guys, let’s get started.”

Kyle and Hannah meandered in a few moments later, his arm draped lazily over her shoulder. His hair was mussed and she looked like her shirt was on backwards.

Ew.

They clearly had sex.

I scrunched my nose as I turned my back to them.

Nope, high school parties were definitely not my scene. I should just call Mom and Dad to come get me.

But I didn’t want to leave a possibly drunk Matt behind.

So, I stayed.

Fred decided the best way to begin was for him to close his eyes, stick his arm out and twirl a few times. Whoever his arm landed on, that person would start the game off.

Fred’s dark, curly hair bounced as he turned, stumbling a few times, his drink sloshing against the cup and tipping out the sides, dripping to the hardwood beneath his Converse shoes.

When he stopped, I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

Out of all the people in the room, his arm landed on me.

“Kearns,” he smiled slyly, “Truth or Dare.”

I felt it. All the eyes on me. The shock and tension and unease as I shifted nervously from one foot to the other.

I knew what I wanted to say. I wanted to say truth. But I was too afraid. Afraid they’d ask who I liked and I’d have to either lie or tell a room full of people I went to school with that I had been crushing on Matt since the moment I met him.

Fred’s hazel eyes bored into mine. “Truth or Dare, Kearns?”

“Dare.”

He chuckled before looking over at Kyle. I don’t know what passed between them, but when Fred turned back around, the words that left his mouth caused all the blood to drain from my face.

“I dare you to kiss Matt.”